By a member of The Spoke editorial board

Editor’s note: The member of the editorial board who wrote this opinion has elected to remain anonymous due to legal risk that may arise from his identity being attached to the contents of this article. The opinions in this article represent his views and experiences alone, not those of The Spoke editorial board.

In the over two months since Donald Trump assumed the position of president of the United States, he has passed 89 executive orders on issues ranging from government spending to birthright citizenship. Although some of his unconstitutional efforts have fallen flat in the federal courts, he has succeeded thus far in instituting a two-gender mandate on federal documentation, restricting gender-affirming healthcare for Americans under 19, prohibiting transgender people from military service and banning female transgender athletes from competing on the correct sports teams.

In the over two months since the inauguration, I’ve had to look my parents in the eyes and ask to flee the country.

I’m transgender. Since 2021, I’ve lived my life openly as a trans man, going by a new preferred name instead of my birth name and answering to he/him pronouns. That same year, I took a trip to the doctor with my mother to get a prescription for the hormone progesterone. In 2023, I stood in front of a judge and officially changed my first name in civil court, beginning the process of changing my legal documentation.

Now, as a senior in high school, my passport, Social Security card and driver’s license all say “M” next to my new legal name. I’m a proud transgender American, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Now, with the Trump administration bent on attacking transgender individuals, the life I’ve built for myself may be in danger.

Gender-affirming care, along with the support and affirmation of my friends and peers, probably saved my life. Or, more importantly, it gave me a life worth living, bringing me out of a depressive state and helping me feel at home in my body. But despite the efforts of federal judges to suspend Trump’s ban on gender-affirming care, it remains at risk. After talking with my parents, I’ve had to make the decision that if my healthcare provider decides to stop providing my life-sustaining care due to an executive order, I will pursue the option of leaving the U.S.

Leaving the country may become necessary not only because of the bans on gender-affirming care but also because of the theft and manipulation of trans individuals’ federal documentation.

Individuals who changed their gender markers or obtained an “X” marker are receiving passports with the incorrect gender. Some have even received ripped up passports or not been returned their documentation at all. A State Department directive has put the visas of trans people entering the U.S. at risk. By defining a changed gender marker as “fraud,” this directive not only poses a risk to international trans travellers but also forebodes an inevitable escalation toward prosecuting citizens who have changed their gender markers.

When I renewed my passport two years ago with an “M” gender marker, I did not anticipate this. While my document arrived intact and correct, any retroactive policies on passports with changed gender markers will affect me. I do not know whether this means that I wouldn’t be able to leave the country or that I would be prosecuted for fraud. But it’s barely been two months. In four years, a lot can happen.

So I’ve sorted through my options. I want to stay and protect my fellow trans people by studying and practicing journalism at university. I want to be loud and proud, even if it scares me. But since this administration seems to want the transgender community excluded and criminalized, I may not have a choice but to flee. Many don’t get that chance.

But wherever I am, whatever I choose to do with the rest of my life on college decision day a few weeks from now, I still exist. I am trans, and I’ve passed you in the hallways, sat in your classroom, written an article you nodded or laughed at. These executive orders seek to erase my existence and the existence of our classmates, teachers and community members. We won’t let them.

I am trans. I am here. I exist. That will never change.