Day 4: Four modernized Christmas carols

Day+4%3A+Four+modernized+Christmas+carols

By Michelle Xu, Opinion Editor
For Day 4, opinion editor Michelle Xu offers four Christmas carols updated to reflect the trends of today’s society. Keep up with 12 Days of Spoke for the chance to win a $50 gift card. To enter the giveaway today, comment your favorite holiday song on today’s 12 Days post on Facebook. For more information on the giveaway, click here.


 

It’s the Most Commercialized Time of the Year

It’s the most commercialized time of the year
With the gift lists a-growing
And big business booming
With not ‘nough cashiers
It’s the most commercialized time of the year

It’s the co-costliest season of all
With Black Friday over
No good deals leftover
Spending time at the mall!
It’s the co-costliest season of all

Society tells us
To want gifts for Christmas
And conform to Hallmarks’ mindset
Instead of cherishing
Compassionate giving
We’re vying for shiny new tech!

It’s the most commercialized time of the year
Consumers complying
And years long of eying
At last time for buying

It’s the most commercialized time of the year! 


 

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump

You’re a mean one, Mr. Trump
You scare the GOP.
Your soul’s an empty nothing,
You’re more pesky than a flea
Mr. Trump!
You’re a racist bigot,
Who screams like a banshee!

You’re outrageous, Mr. Trump!
The UK tried to ban you,
You’re worse than Voldemort.
How d’ya do what you do
Mr. Trump?
If you become prez
Humanity is absolutely screwed! 


 

Let Us Scroll

Oh the family around is frightful,
and everyone is spouting babble,
Since there’s so many new posts,
Let us scroll, let us scroll, let us scroll. 

Twitterbook, Snapagram, and texting,
Plus hours of endless messaging,
Who cares about the outside world?
Let us scroll, let us scroll, let us scroll.


 

Frosty the Noman

Frosty the Noman
Was supposed to be made of snow.
But then we pumped CO2 and other ews
into the air and wrecked our world.

Now ice caps are melting,
And it’s still warm in December.
And poor Frosty is just watery
As reform takes forever.

Sloshity slosh slosh
Sloshity slosh slosh
Look, another heat wave
Sloshity slosh slosh
Sloshity slosh slosh
Frosty’s rolling in his grave!

Michelle Xu can be reached at [email protected].