by Shreya Vaidhyanathan, Opinion Editor
Summer: a time for catching up on sleep, the ideal opportunity to put off everything you need to do and a way for your parents to drag you to various social events.
4 cups of procrastinating summer homework
Whether your assignment is to complete a cumulative math packet or to write 10 phrases in the subjunctive tense for French, putting it off until the last possible minute is sure to add the perfect amount of suspense to the end of your time off from school. The dread of having to read “1984” before walking into your AP Lang class hanging over your head for all of summer is an ideal finale to another summer full of ignoring your responsibilities.
7 oz. of fixing your sleep schedule
After a school year full of all-nighters to finish essays on time and study for math tests, possibly the number one reason students look forward to summer is the chance to catch up on sleep. It’s merely the summer routine to stay in bed past noon and stay up to ungodly hours of the night. Just prepare yourself for the absence of sleeping 10 hours every night once September rolls around.
6 tsps. of seeing family members your parents swear you’ve met before
Aunts and uncles you didn’t know you had have the most random stories about your childhood. While you struggle to figure out how you’re related to great-aunt Jane, or what “second cousin twice removed” means, be prepared to dodge questions about your B+ in math, nonexistent love life and, of course, whether you plan to major in engineering or take the pre-med route.
1/4 cups of getting a summer job
As you get older, your options for employment increase; when you were in middle school, all you could really do was babysit your weird neighbors and pray that the parents would remember to slip you 20 bucks at the end of the night. Now that you’re in high school, you have way more freedom! You could work at Handel’s all summer long, making money and having to awkwardly serve your classmates with no tips in sight, or even be waiting tables full of Main Line’s avid golfers at Nudy’s. No matter what you choose, the $7.25/hour minimum wage is sure to make all of this worth it.
3 tbsps. of sand in your shoes
Would summer really be summer without a classic beach day? Relaxing in the sun, playing in the water and—everyone’s favorite—finding sand in places you didn’t know sand could end up. The sunny sky and beautiful weather make sleeping in grainy sheets for the rest of summer totally worth it… right?
2 oz. of attempting to hang out with friends
Between family vacations, your friend’s SAT camp and Rita’s demanding work schedule, finding time to hang out during summer is almost impossible. During the school year, someone always has a chemistry test or paper to finish, so summer is supposed to be the end to all of that and the start of sleepovers and beach trips with your friends. Unfortunately, overbearing parents, pre-season and marching band camp result in a grand total of two days when everyone is home.
Not too excited for summer after reading this? Don’t take this half-baked idea to heart (or stomach) and forget about all the good parts of your time off — destressing, sleeping in, getting to log out of Schoology — and make the most of the coming months.
Shreya Vaidhyanathan can be reached at [email protected].
